April 4, 2020 / Day 21 Quarantine
Gratitude List: healthy, w/ family, @ home, a pantry full, employed, working from home & daily walk
One month from today, I had planned to travel abroad to a new destination on my first ever solo mother-daughter trip; my mother in her golden years of retirement and me in the messy middle. A once in a lifetime opportunity to spend two whole weeks together on an adventure exploring Portugal, expanding our relationship into a renewed familiarity at the very least. While part of me secretly, hoped would blossom into an intimacy we hadn’t been able to form in our recent adult relationship while living far apart geographically. Selfishly I looked forward to having time away from my job and my daily family responsibilities, to be out in the world experiencing it on my own.
As the news of the coronavirus spreading into Europe was reported, and we made the decision of putting off our planned foreign travel adventure, at first, I was simply saddened for all those around the world who had become sick and those that rely on tourism for their livelihood. But as it has continued to spread into a global pandemic, those initial feelings of sadness for the suffering it has inflicted have evolved into anxiety for economic hardship and the unknown toll of human lives ahead.
One online article a friend circulated early during our communities quarantine, discussed the psychological path we’re collectively now experiencing, whether or not aware, is likened to the journey of grieving. We’re each traveling through the seven stages which include shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance.
My experience thus far in quarantine has not been one of physical suffering. I am aware of my fortunate personal circumstances. It is the psychological part that is the challenge. It is the constant tightness in my chest that is hard to explain to my children. It is an unknown outcome for the family, for the community, for the country that is hard to even fathom. Quarantine for my family was announced on the first day of Spring in the Northern Hemisphere. A beautiful cool sunny day in a small suburban town in the south of the United States, with dogwood tree blossoms out in a full display.
Instead, of continuing to use this online platform to write about design and travel abroad on my mother-daughter trip as planned, I’ve simply decided to write about my experience of staying home.